Day 87

I had my first ever art commission today! It's a big milestone for me. I found it to be very difficult as the reference was quite expressive and I felt a lot more scared to experiment. I feel like I could've done better.

At the end of the day, it's still a valuable experience, so I don't feel too bad about it.

Day 86

Ah... Another one of those days where I was too afraid, insecure and did not have enough energy to pick up my stylus. I feel a bit guilty.

I think I felt more afraid today as I want to work on challenging stuff.

Day 85

Did some gesture drawing today, 3-15 min in no particular order.

Since I was so happy with the caricature of yesterday, I gave marketing a bit for caricature commissions on Reddit another shot.

Also been thinking of how I can keep this blog running when I want to take a break. I really like the idea of daily updates, but it can't be sustainable/healthy for me to be busy with art every single day, right? I did have one or two off days, but my mind was still with art since it wasn't my intention to not work on it that day.

I've also been thinking of building up my portfolio a bit and making myself more marketable as an artist. Perhaps I should reach out to some professionals out there to ask for some guidance.

Hmm... I'll see what I end up doing.

Day 84

Applied the 5 value approach to a caricature. I also did a lot of sketchbook thumbnailing before starting the caricature digitally. Pretty good approach! Happy with the result.

Also did some doodling in my sketchbook, but I didn't get to scanning it today (as usual >.<).

Day 83

Overall a pretty productive day I'd say, despite not spending a lot of hours on art. It felt productive as I directly worked on a weakness of mine, which is having too many value groups.

I posted yesterday's comparison painting on a couple of subreddits and the most valuable (hehe) critique I got was that my value choices were a lot better in the old one as I kept the value groups, unintentionally, a lot simpler. I had forgotten this basic rule since I was so obsessed with getting all the planes right and blending smoothly. 

I was somewhat depressed for some time after realizing that I had gone back a step in that area, but then I realized that I also went ahead in others. Art involves so many skills and I feel like the ability to juggle them is not being talked about enough, it's something I struggle with.

Anyhow, I tackled the weakness by drawing on top of a couple of photos and separating the shapes by a 5 value scale (5 is brightest, 1 darkest). It's a pretty good exercise that gets recommended by a lot of artists. The cool thing is that you also become more familiar with the planes of the head. I went for this exercise because I wasn't feeling courageous enough today for a new painting, figured I'd at least do something useful.

I also did two caricature drawings.

The first one went pretty good, but I burned out and left it as it is.

The second one went a lot worse, I unintentionally turned the guy into a khajiit from Skyrim, but I had a lot more fun! I just did whatever and it made me so happy to know that it actually made the person chuckle when he saw it, despite him having a bad day. I had a small positive impact on someone's day with my drawings and that feels great, since I often feel very lonely in my craft and I sometimes question if it is worth the effort.

I also want to mention that my life outside of art isn't going that well, I find it very difficult to combine my passion for art with the responsibilities of my studies, I absolutely dread it, but I am already in my graduation year. The uncertainty of art, my inner struggles and generally having unsupportive people around you is... difficult. I feel stuck in life. My problems outside of art also bleed into my art and vice-versa. 

I should really reach out and find a therapist, but I find it hard to find the courage to talk about my problems face to face with someone. 

A few art notes:

• I know how to apply line weight works traditionally, but am unsure how to apply it digitally in a manageable way. Gotta work on a solution one of the days.
• I should probably keep doing the 5 value draw-overs, but should also apply it to quick painting studies. I am afraid that I will simply forget this value approach if I don't practice it regularly.
• Don't burn yourself out. Life itself is already hard enough for you.

Day 82

It's done! Pretty happy with the result and improvement, despite hearing from people that they liked the January (bottom) one more. I am still thinking it through, as I can understand the critique of the features being more anatomically correct and the highlights being a bit overdone.

I do have to admit that I like the contrast and the sharp nose of the old one more, but the forms of the rest of the face are a lot more unclear than the new one. I was kinda just winging it back then and following the reference.

I felt a lot more confident in making choices about the forms and felt more in control. I was also more driven I'd say, as I didn't want to face the idea of still being at the same step. The reference felt more like inspiration than a strict guide.

I am not sure if I am being stubborn here. I usually agree with critique, but this time I am a bit conflicted.

March 2022

January 2022

 Day 80 and 81

I didn't post yesterday as I was unhappy about the fact that I had another unproductive day and I didn't want to confront that.

Today was a lot better. I have been working on redoing an old painting. I hope that the end result will motivate me as it will hopefully look better. It's kind of a way of proving to myself that I have improved. Knowing that the work I put in actually results in a better result is motivating to me.

It's not done yet as I wasn't to work on the hair, her right eye and lips more, but am already happy with the result and especially the improvement :)

 Day 79

Didn't draw that much today after all. Happy with how this page turned out though. I'll probably be moving on from the lips now. I want to study the eye more in-depth as well, but it's probably a good idea to put some of my studies into practice by doing portraits.

 Day 78

Just a doodle day, unfortunately. I feel motivated and look forward to drawing a lot tomorrow, however :)

Day 77

More sketching lips today. I learned that I have trouble with foreshortening and judging how much smaller/larger shapes have to become on an intuitive level. Doing life drawings of objects at a different angle might help me in developing that skill.

Here is a copy of the eye planes drawn by the amazing artist Ganbold. It's from a couple of days ago.

 Day 76

More plane sketching today. Working on the lips now.

Scanned in one of the pages.

Day 75

An OK day. Drew a lot of feature planes in tricky perspectives and worked a little on the portrait.

Day 74

Bad day, barely did anything besides some quick doodles.

Day 73

Drew more planes in my sketchbook today, didn't get to scanning it.

Day 72

Very unproductive day. Barely did any art and only drew some planes. Rewatched a couple of videos about skin color as well.

I am starting to notice a pattern in myself. Whenever I make a big step in improving myself as an artist, I start to become scared of doing art the next few days. Maybe I become scared because I don't want to face the potential situation where I discover that I did not improve at all? I am not sure, but I need to figure this stuff out someday as it is in my way of spending more time on my craft.

Oh, I also ordered a new sketchbook and gel pen. I want to form a habit of sketching traditionally more often in order to activate my creativity more and to shake off the daily rustiness.

Day 71

Wew, studying the planes of the head is already paying off.

Day 70

Had a lot of things on my mind, so I only filled up a sketchbook page today and did some drawings of the planes of the nose.

Day 69

Painted in the portrait drawing from yesterday, overall pretty happy with the result.

Painting this in made me realize that I don't know the planes of the head as well as I thought I knew them. So I spent the rest of my art time studying the planes of the nose by searching up tutorials about them and drawing the planes in my sketchbook, with the hope of memorizing the proportions. I want to be able to recall them from my imagination.

 Day 68

More portraits, overall happy with the result and I feel like I am getting better at working with the blending modes, but I feel guilty for not spending a lot of time on art today.

 Day 67

Didn't have a lot of time today and I was feeling depressed during the time that I did have for art, so didn't have a lot of energy and didn't make any steps in my art today. All I managed to do is a caricature and a painting that I gave up on halfway through. 

My sole motivation to work today was for discipline. I have to protect this habit of working on my art daily and the shitty days must be included in it, even if it means quickly drawing something small like a stick figure.

The second try went a bit better. Still looks weird af, but oh well. Can't expect myself to learn everything in such a quick time, I NEED to lower my expectations.

Day 66

Experimented with blending modes and was looser today,

Day 65

Worked on the mean bull and did an emo cow today.

 Day 64

Worked on a bull painting today. I like how it's turning out, but there is still some work left to do.

 Day 63

Bit of an unproductive day, only did 2 quick paintings. I felt afraid today, so this was all that I could muster. 

I noticed that I had trouble finding the correct colors and painting the fur. Also had some issues with the initial drawings, but eventually found my footing again.  Might do some fur studies soon, as I find it hard to do these studies correctly (learning about the characteristics of horned animals for my sense of design) when technical issues are holding me back.

 Day 62

Mostly sketched around in my sketchbook, but I'll be starting to work on another digital art journey soon.